Do you know what draws more men than a drop-dead gorgeous face or a rocking body? Confidence! Women who have confidence are always at the top of the dating pyramid. The ones who lack it, are at the bottom. The question is how do you develop confidence when the dating world can be such a cruel and unforgiving place?
As a Master Certified Relationship Coach my passion is to help singles discover effective dating and by doing so, they do not only become better daters with a new found sense of self-confidence, they also become their best self.
Dating with confidence is a game changer for singles in their dating life. I always say, like attracts like… by exuding confidence, you not only make yourself happier, but you also draw others to you like flies to honey. So here are 5 Ways to Be a Magnet to Quality Men.
The first thing I notice when I do a Free Relationship Readiness Review with singles is how many struggling daters make the mistake of thinking that for a man to like them, they must always make sure he sees them as perfect. This means, only sharing the positive, special things about them, and hiding their authentic human flaws.
To me, this is a huge mistake because vulnerability creates connections. Now don’t get me wrong. The last thing you want to do is metaphorically throw up on your date when you are first getting to know each other. That is not what being vulnerable is about. Being vulnerable really is about owning who you are, a beautiful person, that is not perfect, that has flaws just like everyone else.
When you are vulnerable with a date, you not only let him know you are an authentic human being, but also a confident one. So next time you go on a date, don’t be afraid to tell him about the time you tripped and fell on your face in front of a room full of co-workers or the time you cooked a meal your dog didn’t want to eat. Remember, it’s rarely the story that will turn off a prospective partner, it’s the confidence with which you tell it.
Let Go of Expectations
When you go into every date or relationship expecting or demanding it to be the one that changes everything for you, you almost certainly set yourself up for constant disappointment. It’s important to have a positive dating attitude to be sure, but an unrealistic one is the kiss of death for finding dating bliss.
By lowering your expectations throughout the dating process, you automatically increase your dating confidence. So when you go on dates, you want to be okay with whatever happens, good, bad or otherwise. That’s because confident people realize if a date or a relationship falls apart, it’s the universe letting them know the date wasn’t a good fit, not because they did something wrong or they weren’t worthy.
Are you one of those daters who finds yourself in one-way street type of relationships where you get pushed around all the time? Do you seem to live a world where your partner always drives the ship?
If this is you, let me start by saying this can stop by making sure you have well-established boundaries while going through the dating process.
Having a simple and easy to articulate boundaries for your dates means you prioritize your needs and your emotions. You do not assume responsibility for someone else’s needs and emotions. Maybe you don’t want a guy to see where you live for 3 or more dates. Not a problem. Maybe you don’t want to kiss on the first, second or even third date. Not a problem.
For your dates, the key to building your boundaries is to be clear and up front about them in a nice way, justify your reasons (without explaining too much), and stick to your guns. Any guy worth it, will not only respect those boundaries, but also respect you for having them.
Be the Chooser
It makes me so sad to hear from singles when they say they have few, if any, dating options. Especially when they always must wait for someone to ask them out. And they aren’t the chooser because it’s their dates who seem to have the power to decide if they move on to relationship status. It’s as if they have no choice in any of it.
It starts with knowing that you are special and that you will only be with a man who treats you as the special person you are. It’s you who has the power to choose him, not the other way around. Once you understand that, you will be confident in one thing, you will never ever ever settle.
To that I say bull#$#! I empower my clients to always “Be the Chooser”. And as expected, “Be the Chooser” is a pillar of my Conscious Dating Programs, and not only help singles discover that they all have choices in dating, but also, there are actual relationship skills that must be learned in order make the conscious dating choices to love.
Trust Your Dating Choices
Dating missteps happen to even the best, most seasoned daters. It comes with putting yourself out there. That being said, when you make informed dating choices, confident daters always trust them even when they don’t go as planned.
The key to building this trust is by arming yourself with a complete understanding of you and your relationship requirements. In the 8 Pillars of my Conscious Dating Programs, I reveal how knowing and understanding the difference between your dating non-negotiables (aka deal-breakers), your functional and emotional needs, and your wants is the key to finding and experiencing your forever relationship.
It may take a lot of self-reflection and hard work to get there, but once you do, you will look at the world with a new sense of confidence that makes dating fun and exciting. Interested in becoming a magnet to quality men out there? Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here.