When we are out there looking for love there are many factors that can affect our success, but one of the most important is whether or not we have a clear and present Life Vision.
This goes not only for ourselves, but also for any potential partner we consider getting into a committed relationship with. So what is a Life Vision? In my Conscious Dating Programs, I simply outline this with a single question, “What do I want and where am I headed?”
Life Vision is your current plan for how you want to live each facet of your life can be broken down into many different facets of your life. Here is a list of some of the main areas:
- Physical/Health Vision
- Mental/Emotional Health Vision
- Work/Career Vision
- Lifestyle Vision
- Family Vision
- Interests/Hobbies Vision
- Spiritual Belief/Practice Vision
Life Vision is a category unto itself, but when you are entering into a relationship with someone and your Life Visions do NOT line up with theirs, almost certainly the relationship will have major struggles. It has that much power.
To better show you, I will imagine the worst-case scenario for two daters using a few of the categories above and you tell me if this relationship could or should work.
Mental/Emotional Health Vision
- She’s into personal growth and has done work on herself to make sure she is the best person she can be, she hates drama, and likes to communicate to resolve issues.
- He has done very little self-reflection in life, seems to thrive with the drama around, and tends to keep his feelings to himself so has poor communication skills.
- Work is important to her, but it’s a means-to-an-ends so she can retire early in life. She likes to save for a rainy day and values a dollar.
- Work is a bore to him, he lacks passion in most jobs he has, and prefers to live the simple life. He is a spender, when he gets money he likes to use it to experience life. He doesn’t understand saving.
- She wants to be married and have at least two kids one day.
- He doesn’t believe in marriage and doesn’t want kids at all.
Do you think these two people could end up in a happy relationship?
I think the takeaway here is that when you are dating someone, it’s important to lay out your compatibility in these Life Vision categories against each other’s, and start by asking yourself, “How well do our visions line up?”
I have friends who are in happy relationships with partners where some of their Life Vision categories are not a perfect match, but the majority of the categories do match. It’s true, sometimes you can sacrifice a little here, but how much is the key.
When you’re in alignment with your living your Life Vision, it just feels RIGHT. You feel at ease with what you are doing and where you are going in your life. There’s no discomfort or feeling of being unsettled. Nothing is missing. Your life is in balance.
One thing to know about Life Vision is that like friends, you choose it. It does not choose you. This is important to remember as no matter where you are in your life you have a choice here.
If you’re struggling with a clear life vision and find yourself not knowing what questions to ask potential partners to see if they are a good fit, I’d love to speak to you and see how I can help.
Schedule a Relationship Readiness Review with me here and let’s gain more clarity about what you require to make you happy in a relationship and love.