Tired of Attracting Cheaters?

In my latest article for Digital Romance, I share Top 5 Reasons You May Be Attracting Cheaters:

Before I became Master Certified Relationship Coach and a happily married woman, I was very much a struggling dater just like you, who got cheated on by my partners… lots of them. Over the course of those many single years, I repeatedly asked myself why does this keep happening to me?

I’m attractive, smart, fun, and am by no means sexually frigid, so why do my boyfriends keep looking for the company of other women?

The answer is both a complex one and simple one. The simple answer is I allowed them to. The complex answer needs a few more words so here are the Top 5 Reasons You’re Attracting Cheaters:

Lack of Good Communication With Your Partner

Good communication is the key to any relationship. In the early stage of dating, I asked my husband if he ever cheated on a girlfriend. He freely admitted he had. Of course, I did not like to hear this answer, but I knew it was better to ask and take note of what he said.

Plus, I paid attention to how he answered it, rather than not to ask at all. And when you don’t have all the facts, your mind can really play tricks on you by making up stories you obsess over.

So early on in any of your future relationships, it is very important for you to communicate your feelings about cheating and also listen to your partner about their feelings. Get all the facts and come to an agreement.

Then, once you are committed, you must continue that open flow of communication because most experts agree that cheating starts and ends when “needs” are not being met. So if you and your partner communicate your needs, you will be much less likely to be at the other end of the cheating stick.

Always Seeing the Best in People

Far too many of the singles I work with come to me believing it’s easier to look at all the good qualities in a partner and try to ignore red flag flaws because they like the person so much. Don’t get me wrong, having a positive attitude about dating is extremely important to the process, but so is healthy critical thinking.

When I first started dating my husband, almost immediately I felt like he could be the one. Still, I had been hurt so many times before I was not going to believe he was the “right one” until he proved it.

Do you know how many dates we went on before I actually let him know where I lived? Five!

To this day he still can’t believe I kept him waiting that long. Although I saw many good qualities in him, I wanted to make sure his actions matched his words, so I made him wait.

So slow down the dating process. Remember it is your comfort that really matters. And taking your time you will help you avoid falling for a Dating Trap.

Continue reading the article on Digital Romance here.

2 comments on “Tired of Attracting Cheaters?

  1. I find that I tend to be too optimistic and naive when first getting into relationships. I’ve become more wary over time of the red flags that potential partners set off. This is good advice.

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